Lunchtime Spam » LunchtimeSpam.com

Trees of Life

Chris — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 19:37:14 +0000

Find your birthday and then find your tree.

Find your tree below and see what you are like...

Jan 01 to Jan 11         -       Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24         -       Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03        -      CypressTree
Feb 04 to Feb 08        -       Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18        -       Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28        -       Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10        -       Weeping WillowTree
Mar 11 to Mar 20        -       Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only)              -       Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31        -       Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10         -       Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20         -       Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30         -       Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14       -       Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24       -       Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03        -       Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13         -       Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23         -       Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only)              -       Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04          -       Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14         -          Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25           -       Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04         -      CypressTree
Aug 05 to Aug 13       -       Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23       -       Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02       -       Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12       -       Weeping WillowTree
Sep 13 to Sep 22       -       Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only)             -       Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03        -       Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13        -       Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23        -       Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11        -      Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21        -     Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01        -      Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11        -       Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21        -       Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only)              -      Beech Tree
Dec 23 to Jan 01         -       Apple Tree

TREES (in alphabetical order)

Apple Tree(Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for c! riticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned abou t its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant,friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not inthe least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determin! ed, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness ) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to
gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, t! ends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, dependent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence..

Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree(Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding , knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust natur e, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no co mpromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh

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FROM: MRS.MARY KOBINA GOOD DAY

Chris — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:20:05 +0000

FROM: MRS.MARY KOBINA GOOD DAY,

I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this classified information that I will release to you.

Firstly, I am a happily married woman with 2 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.

I am Mrs. Mary Kobina. the branch manager of the Standard Chartered Bank Of Ghana,Takoradi Branch . I got your information during my search through the Internet. I am 41 years of age and married with 2 lovely kids. It may interest you to hear that I am a woman of PEACE and don't want any problem, but I don't know how you will feel about this, but I am telling you that this is real and you are not going to regret after doing this transaction with me. I only hope we can assist each other.But If you don't want this business offer kindly forget it as I will not contact you again.

I have packaged a financial transaction that will benefit both of us, as the Regional manager of the Standard Chartered Bank Of Ghana,Takoradi Branch; It is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra-Ghana at the end of each year. On the course of the year 2010 end of year report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the Manager made Nine Million Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars [$9,650.000.00] which my head office are not aware of and they will never be aware of, Nor must they know that I am involved in this transaction.

I have since place this fund on what we call SUSPENSE OR ESCROW ACCOUNT without any beneficiary. As an officer of the bank I can not be directly connected to this money, so this informed my contacting you for us to work so that you can assist receive this money into your bank account for us to SHARE, while you will have 35% of the total fund.

Note there are practically no risk involved, it will be bank to bank transfer, all I need from you is to stand claim as the rightful depositor of this fund who made the deposit with our branch so that my Head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account. If you accept this offer to work with me, I will appreciate it very much.As soon as I receive your kind response, I will give you details on how we can achieve it successfully. Please to proceed with me in this transaction i will appreciate if you provide me this information mentioned below.

1) Full Name

2) Occupation

3) Age:

4) Telephone Number/fax

5) Your Country of Origin:

6) Sex/ Marital Status:

7) Contact Address:

Thank you in advance and bless you and your family.

Yours truly,

Mrs. Mary Kobina.

CONTACT ME.

Tel: +233 549 485 594

Fax: +233 261 775 938

EMAIL : mrs.marystandardcharteredbank@yahoo.com

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU.

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Crowd Control

Chris — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 12:34:25 +0000

Classic – saucepan and lifejacket is good but wait until last one!!

So just to outline here – these are makeshift helmets
made by the Egyptians whilst scrapping in their current civil unrest.
I shall guide you through these pieces of registered non standard army kit:

Your classic 1979 ‘Tribottle rag’ helmet – a must in any type of combat

A late 80’s ‘boxhat’. The bloke next to him doesn’t appear too sure of its effectiveness

A renaissance period piece of brickwear teamed with a black and cream scarf. Textbook

Im not sure that tuna sarnie he is about to lob is gonna cause to much destruction.
Old skool 80’s broken bin helmet.
I personally love the fact he needs to lift it up to see –
does he spend the rest of the time walking in to things??

Textbook saucepaning with lifejacket combo. He does not take, ANY!!

I literally have no idea what this is.

And the winner by 100 miles.
This bloke is going to war with 2 baguettes strapped to his ears and a ham salad roll
sellotaped to his forehead. I’d def wanna be behind him if someone lobs a load of bricks at me.

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It’s just a little flooded, its still good!!

Chris — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:13:32 +0000

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Who needs a tool belt when you’ve got one of these…?

Chris — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 11:47:00 +0000

Every white van should have one in the back!

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Serious Test

Chris — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 11:17:05 +0000

Sit comfortably and be calm.

This is a serious test, not a joke…

Put your thinking process aside - i.e. put your brain in neutral gear.

1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you have already found the C, now find the 6 below.

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
6999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3- Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist. Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

Congratulations!

Oh. One more test....

Find the 44th USA President.

Well, congratulations, you're not colour blind either!

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RIP Margaret: Showdown at Mayday Hospital in Croydon

Chris — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 02:21:32 +0000

The original hilarious video of two locals going at it toe to toe on the cobbles outside Mayday Hospital in Croydon.

Despite only having been uploaded a few days this video has generated a lot of media attention – there’s life in the old dog yet!

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The most Useless Machine Ever!!

Chris — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:41:07 +0000

And yet everybody wants one!!!
Complete instructions for building this device:
http://www.instructables.com/id/The-M...
Inspired by Claude E. Shannon's Ultimate Machine.
Royalty free music by Kevin MacLeod

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The best way to dispose of your xmas tree

Chris — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 12:35:00 +0000

The Christmas holiday is one of the most difficult times of the year to stay 'green,' but rocket launching our Christmas tree was a great way to recycle our trash destined tree. 32 large rocket engines and some careful calculations ensured fun for the whole family.

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Ban Fox Hunting!

Chris — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 11:16:06 +0000

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